Відео

My sister was a major alcoholic and druggie. She chose animals for her boyfriends and husbands. I took in her children as babies and I raised 4 children in both the fatherly and maternal roles. She was abused as a child was severely toxic and had really bad BPD. Of all my siblings ive the most and have done and achieved the most. I raised my children as I call them. On my own. I taught them everything they knew and how to be as functional as possible. As I'm the strongest of my whole family. My little ones are some good some bad. But they were safe with me and I raised them well. They're all workers but one bcz he's severely mentally ill does drugs and abandons his own children. My sister took in his children and I'm too tired to take in more children. Plus I'm too old to start over. I'm not a druggie or drunkard or smoker, nada! But my mom is a BPD woman and a narc, my dad was extremely abusive and yet I turned out Webcz I chose to be a great man. I realized I mattered that when my parents abandoned me at 14 till I turned 19 and came home from exile and chose to heal and not be poisoned by my parents abandoning me. I need self-compassion and to heal from the abuse ive dealt with all my life, It is something I'm dealing with in therapy as my parents abandoned me for my brother who was also mentally ill but my dad realized that I deserved another chance, and checked me come home and 3 years later I moved out and have a beautiful home and everything I need. I work hard and I earn my way. In a self-made man. My dad is a self-made man. Although he was abusive he did teach me a lot, in glad I had a dad. Bcz he taught me well and he failed a lot. Yet. I'm a great man because of his and my grandpa's teachings. I'm proud of The fact that I had a strong dad. Bcz I'm a great dad to my little ones also.

Thank you for this video. Sorry. I just wanted to say this. It's very soothing to watch and hear you, in general, not to mention everything you've explained, which is, of course, very helpful. It makes me feel good :D Thank you :D

Thank you so much for this, i really appreciate your videos Xx

Mood swings happen in a split second.

religions are so evil

my issue is that i just can't remember my childhood to even give examples of how i behaved back then - and my mum doesn't remember either, so i have no idea how to tell if these traits started when i was a child or not. i still struggle with my memory now, too. how am i supposed to figure this all out if i can't remember anything from when i was a kid... (and no, i think it's highly doubtful that i forgot due to some kind of childhood trauma - i still forget tons of stuff even now. i go to therapy currently and whenever something happens to me that causes me to be upset etc, i have to immediately write down exactly what happened and how that made me feel because otherwise, by the time i get to my appointment the week or so later, i would forget exactly the details of what happened and how i felt during that time & not be able to discuss it in enough detail to make any progress with it. and honestly, sometimes i would even get to my session, read the notes i made and find out i was no longer able to connect with them, almost as if they didn't even happen to me - and then i still wouldn't make any progress)

Wow my mother an now my daughter. It’s horrific!

I score 100 procent in both. 😢

As a mother with a daughter with BPD from what I see YOU PSYCHIATRISTS are causing the abandonment issues because you consider any and all advice from a parent to be abuse...... the school say parental guidance is abuse and now the education system is abusive, the abandonment issues are ENDORSED by you........

So most people that get diagnosed with it are really just ptsd. Interesting

I have asked my DA husband the most innocuous questions about his childhood. I always get the same response. I don't remember. It seems ludicrous to even make some of these suggestions because the DA will have none of it!

I pray that I can go no contact with my narcissistic mother.

People that abuse you....NEVER let them back in ur life....NEVER. Because ur just hurting urself. You might reach a state of mental illness you can't recover from. Never let them back in. I made that mistake with my father....sadistic sick psychopath

I live in San Diego, like you did.. and I also recently had a traumatic event like you did.. which has destroyed my marriage. I've been emotionally abused by my wife for nearly 8 years... your videos are very real and helpful

And not having a mother growing up except sleeping and working and have issues with her today still.

My dad disowned me for yrs before he died. And dealing with this stuff now almost 40 trying to heal my past.

I cannot believe this video. You described each and every aspect of my husband perfectly. Shocking! Every single point!

My friend does what i call a food dance in their chair when he is enjoying eating something and he has never realised he does it ... could that be stimming?

Heard messages you won't have to clean cat boxes no more we have maids for that now

Why did she have to get rid of step dad no one can tell me different an the way she talkrd to me on phone atleast two days prior no one wsnted to listen to me he had been on Oklahoma for about six months nine months alone nothing wrong with him getting there house put together Margaret said she had things to tidy up in Pa an would join him. Less than six months of. Her Margaret being in Oklahoma he died of massive heart attack when for years an even days prior he is worth more to me dead than alive an would talk about vision since s kid just like her own death things where just way to planned out down to the days of the month when things would happen 18th of month three months in a row there is still more. The one visiting nurse Margaret had from shamokin Shannon Sherry I forget how she won the lottery supposingly an said she quit her job was only prn the night Margaret supposingly died I called rich earl to pronounce said no was busy I knew at that moment something y not right called the va nurses an guess who showed up to pronounce Sherri I'm wide awake now the truth when hesrd

My dad wasn't around a lot growing up and never really played the role of parent. When he was all he would do is get into arguments with my mom. My mom was quite sick mentally and physically growing up. She has depression and hates doctors a lot. She used me as therapist. The parent she didn't have, the emotional support she didn't have, the friend she didn't have. Never really daughter and mother. And i never really noticed it until i became adult because i realized how little support emotionally i had from either of my parents

I can remember times as a child an young adult I would speak up an get shot down fast why do u have to do that it was innocent that's not true your making shit up again in your head no I was never making it up I will not be quite now. All the things I saw an know are coming out now

So much is hitting me today memories of little things that are linking everything to gether no matter that I just don't want to put no more effort into any of this stuff this is few years back from 96, I believe ,90 91 again I had went to pa wanted a change from the life living. An Margaret was living with my aunt Debbie at the time an her husband an one brand new son. I keep hearing hootie and blow fish song an why do important to everything going on knowning that my family didn't want any to do with me cause few months prior I had called Margaret on the phone thinking it was her talking to cause cousin Stacey an her sound s like an not once did Stacey stop me an say let me go get her even when answered I said mom. Reply yes needless to say everything I had said to Stacy she told everyone in the family an made me out to be this horrible monster an homeless ugly person many many years took to clean some of it up Donald sn Stacy still look down nose at me. But why hootie and blow fish let her cry has something to with this shit

When I met a certain guy I had no intentions of needing him for any of those reasons at all I had job house vechile very independent even though In relationship I just wanted a person had feelings for to share with me an be happy gerald didn't do any of that an never did she wasn't afsctor wasn't interested was only a contract for 18years

I need help away from Gerald it was not there yesterday he out Jerry carved into the window sill. In room

I really do get on myself bsd like fuck how come I saw it all playing out in front of me but didn't do or say anything about it here example back in Jan of 1996 I arrived in Pa now I had not eaten pork for close to 10 years not religious reasons just didn't like an for that matter no meat didn't like the circle of life an to know I'm putting hormones in my body an chemicals pesticides made me sick to my stomach Margaret made pork. I told her no she grew so defensive telling my step dad I'm u greatful I think I'm to good. An she didn't let up either so at the time forced self to eat a piece. Was sick later body rejected. Then out of blue there was a prison movie that came on there is a reason for it I've always sat at times an thought why I knew was a bigger picture I still believe in what I know is true. Idgaf what any one says or trys to convince me different i know my truth an u can put my mind under hypnosis scramble my brain but u can not touch a persons heart nor soul try as you fucken might

SO true. Enabling a narcissist adds insult to injury. So many generational cycles to break especially when you have been scapegoated. Very harmful but possible to break through with God's help and brain re-training.

I was diagnosed Autistic in 2001. This list is sooooo accurate I both laughed and cried. ❤😢❤. I’m learning to accept myself the way I am cuz I can’t change it.

If Gerald an Margaret ok then be happy sick in my opinion but make them happy have at it. If diane an Darren or Craig who ever good for you hope happy just go away and leave me alone an id hope you would give me the same respect an let me do the same thing I know you are never going to pay me what I'm suppose to have from what you stold from me or anything cause see I have to expose you for who you really are an what you really did Margaret an Gerald an don't really want the controvsity on news an be exposed love life do wtf u want my money I worked for an earned over many years that's a nother story I see it as two choices for you an there is no time like present see as a friend told me I've waited a long time already I think you would agree since 19 that I m aware of Margaret no time like the present

Let Margaret an Gerald Diane Darren Craig have one another I don't care who married who to keep in family

I thought I saw it with Margaret early on just didn't want to believe it the wanting me close living the scrutiny about my weight walk taller pull your pants up when they were when wanted to let hair grow out go do something about your hair felt like I was on fucken display always. With her an now I know she was the bitch Margaret why back in 1996in may when my grandma was In hospital and nursing home my four aunts had a divide an concour for many years used excuse of the two sisters sent into my grandma's apartment and took paperwork an things they y not to have cause Margaret was poa this was part of a relationship with her for them an a divide of some sort an all the petty stuff was a cover up

How can someone so sick an crazy tell me things like that an next sentence out of mouth you should be alone to do things on your own don't need a man she is was fucken crazy bitch now my head so clear an away from sick ppl. I may not be perfect an work on progress always but never that sick an twisted

Even though I was super independent it just wouldn't come to gether. Margaret was behind it entire time to watch me make money off of me why u think three months after her death someone sent into my life. Why u think kept asking if I found any one at work interested in. When all I would say is I want a divorce from him on repeat not about another man then the guilt trip would begin. How u going to manage bills slone what are u going to with the boys when go to work trying to keep me trapped an overwhelmed I could of done it on own. Just one step at a time an if would of had to take PTO few days to figure it out could of

My coins an stocks an bonds from Margaret an Gerald Diane Darren Chuck I can not in good conscience of my own self work an value go back into that type of environment with so many of them to deal with constantly it's not healthy for me. It doesn't make me happy there are other ways to get what is mine an I also know ppl are working on it. I have to do what is best for me for once im not that kid or young lady Margaret wouldn't let move away from her I had often asked myself as a young adult why if she moved to a state an I choose not to with in six months or less something cstodtrohic would happen sb and had to ask her for help

I can't be bothered with my narc dad. he is controlling and critical(both at the same time), I deserve a better father. We do not live with each other(thankfully), I am 60, he's still nitpicking. I gave up on his abuse.

It's hard to have the knowledge of what is healthy ways do practical when comes to parents when taught early on respect your parents don't talk back parents know best. No matter how much counseling I had been through when not with Margaret an returned after foster care she always seemed to set the rules my way an didn't let me or my sister forget that we can always go back if we didn't like her rules an Margaret had no idea how that affected us with already feeling abandoned an rejected. Which took all the counseling an left at door just to exist

Nail on the head! What a great video, thoroughly enjoyed thank you

I think my obesity is a result of growing up this way. My mother was a rager but on the other hand, she could be nice and funny. I never knew what to expect.

“You are snoring the pot of emotional abuse everyday” - wow that hit hard

My boys have to realize ppl change an when they change sb and don't want a relationship anymore they have y respect that ppl out grow ppl in life ppl die. Ppl move on nothing is for ever we might want to think so an hold onto them. But not when you are. Hurting some one else I did meat another man. Since loosing the one I had wanted an. I thought mentally ok Id try an see what happens totally platonic and I saw all these red flags of my past marriage with Gerald if disagreement on even the smallest thing cause not right would shut down an. Not leave just total silent treatment an made things uncomfortable I also saw a bigger picture of things going on unspoken which caused confusion in me an needed space to figure out how to monover with situation

My family was highly dysfunctional. When my parents divorced, they argued over my custody. Neither of them wanted me! How pathetic is that? Society always focuses on the custody battles. No one mentions the kids who just aren’t wanted. My brothers stayed with my dad. He needed farmhands. I went with my mother who never let me forget that she didn’t want me. I had zero visitation with my dad. If he happened to bump into me, he would cross examine me. Did I have a boyfriend? Was I doing drugs? I was 12 years old!! He always said that girls only bring shame to a family. I guess he was waiting for me to step into that role. I didn’t. When I turned 19, he suddenly started guilting me about not going to visit him!! All those years he had been absent, yet he was making demands. I paid him a few visits, but after a particularly nasty phone call, I went no contact for 20 years. He started asking for me when he turned 80. He let me know that in our culture it’s the daughter’s job to care for her parents. I almost choked. I smiled politely and said nothing. I resumed no contact. He passed away ten years ago. I’m still processing that part of my life-the gaping hole in my soul. He was not a provider. He was not a protector. He was not a nurturer. He was grandiose, manipulative, demanding, entitled, and merciless.

No child is "Fatherless" ...Many become children abandoned by their father's.

Past of how to make something work exploded in my face when my boys began doing god awful things to me an trying to control me an convince me to go back an really mess with my mind on u tube an internet the boys couldn't handle the fact I didn't want that life any longer an I finally had found some one who had made me very happy. I would talk to boys about relationships when they asked felt weird boys an all I would tell them only small parts of a man from my past who I loved very much an what my hopes for them would be to find someone as such for them an don't make mistakes like I did when young only did I not know that my son used that very relationship against me my words as a mom to nurture them was used to cause me pain an try to get me to forget him all out of being afraid I would leave the boys an that I would leave there step dad. An move on. I forgive my boys cause I know they were looking out for self care but not at the expense of me being unhappy an trying to trap me in a marriage with Gerald I didn't want. Any longer. I found someone I had never thought I would again in life that brought the same goodnrss out in me an happiness after so many years of heartache an my boys decided no they were going to try an control me an I had to be with there step dad an did so many horrible things to me to try an drive that point into me not happening so today I'm alone an not ready to let my boys back into my life I think back even the two bii would have gf an ask me what do u think of her mom first question to boys does she treat you nice. Second question does she make you happy yes then that's all that matters I'm happy for you I just wish they could of understand that an have me the same respect

I couldn't do that again wasn't able to talk freely if I did he was gone crazy house hospital an kids would say what did you do this time. Mom they just never heard him or saw what he did to me in the kids eyes things would go from 0 to 100 an hear him swearing at me slamming doors so I have to give Margaret credit for calling this one out correct one thing she said what has happened to you you never have been one to put up with any shit from any one. I began to litterly beg him not to go when he would verbally abuse me an slam doors an other things I knew it was wrong my entire body was screaming let him fucken go. Don't worry grown ass man. But I didn't want to hear the blame game from the boys how I was the cause of it always I thought if I begged an lowered self an pride it would help no all it did was cause so much more disrespect an then others saw it as well an thought it was totally ok to disrespect me and have no regard for me even my boys as they got older so choices I've made in my past

My father passed away when I was 5. He was very sick😕

My biggiest fear was making sure I could give them stability of one to two homes only for entiy child hood an not be like me all over the place wanted my boys to make connections an long term friendships the things I did not have. An knew how important they were then woi hear from Margaret how I was ruining there lives by not given them change an I was sheltering them. Didn't pay attention to that one thank God

I am sorry to hear that about your father. 😢 It is hard to hear as my father lived in the house yet abandoned me in a way by drinking and simply not spending much time at home. There was no bond formed. 😒

Every one then had said monitor your kids time on TV the four hour rule back then I had taken that one step further an said about the video games. Id get ok on from the other parent if follow up how did that work was he ok with it what did he do instead one day ok two days okay. By third day back to same shit so i made a schedule. One on fridge one on side of dresser where consult games was an amazing no one even paid attention of followed rules I feel as if I failed my youngest some how only so much I could do though I know that. I' wasn't in control of what went on when not there just doesn't make it better though cause I ultimately picked the looser Gerald as the parent so no matter how any one wants to just the situation it was my fault in the end

My youngest saw alot of things no child should have to see. An when I would try to talk to him about it it's over mom what's there to talk about how u feel about it why not going to change it. Example he saw his one grand mother die an when they took her out of house was sitting on top steps I went up to you okay I'm sorry you saw this. Wanna talk no weren't you suppose to be online for school yell but we'll do u need excuse cause of what happened or u good I'm good an refused to ever talk about it again I tried

I was a type of mom I gave three chances an depending of course what the situation was an base would go up then loss of privileges or time out depending on age not to not bother with boys but to make them think. About what happened an as they got older they refused to go to room an It became a power struggle of being the parent an shouting at one another an then what they had originally done was lost in all the arguments my one son was excellent for this an very manipulative would wear me down arguing to the point after wards can I go ride my bike an I was like yell yes to get respite from him I was so drained an my youngest boy I can not really say what happened when I was a stay at home mom or worked part-time he would interact with brothers and him an I would play talk. About 3or,4years old maybe 5 I went to work full time his biological dad was there with brothers an noticed. Wouldn't come out of room on weekends just play video games would ask how long this been going on idk what do you mean don't know aren't you here I'm busy doing so you just shove him in room an do wtf ever. Again arguments son would hear this garabage an withdrawal more feeling as if it was some how his fault until I lost him completely an couldn't get him to go outside or even want to take him out to do anything special just him an I special trip to store or anything something happened when I was working second shift years ago. He even began to get over weight an over eat. Seemed more I tried to talk go in room sit on bed check in say what u think if we go somewhere just the two of us or you can have your brothers go your choice basically let him decide just so i could get him out of thr fucken room an was met with resistance